recommended listening: wild, wild life, by talking heads
Napoleon Dynamite is the current expat favorite, especially for those who can understand the dubbed version. There’s this line–“You guys havin’ a killer time?”—in which the intended humor comes from the deadpan delivery and obvious misery of everyone in the scene. The dubbed version translates the line: “Are you guys ready to kill somebody?”
The point: translation makes you see things differently.
Take Lauren’s day, for example. In the American version, she would go to the clinic, see a few dozen patients about relatively common problems, and return home ten hours later.
In the local version, she’s feeling kind of sick, but she goes to the orphanage anyway.
In part because of her relationship to Lauren, Mary has become medical director of the orphanage, and Medical Directors of Orphanages don’t keep appointments for training by younger doctors. Still, since she recognizes her indebtedness to Lauren, Mary enforces some of the dietary changes Lauren has recommended for the kids. They can’t officially budget money for diets that include fruits, vegetables, or meats, but Mary’s found a loophole: the budget doesn’t specify the kind of bread or limit the number of pills children can receive. Soon, the children will begin receiving legume-enhanced bread and multi-vitamins. Now, if Lauren can influence her to stop using enemas as primary care for every digestive ailment… Mary also has agreed to let Lauren start training Sophia, a younger doctor. Sophia then started joining Lauren whenever she works at the women’s and children’s clinic, and she and another orphanage worker start asking Lauren questions about whether they can really know God. Officially, Lauren’s teaching an unteachable doctor twice her age, but unofficially, she has her dream job.
Or, take my day. In the American version, I’m teaching a couple courses and on the facilities committee.
In the local version, I’m in my suit, helping the guys roll up a soaked carpet. Water is pouring through a classroom roof. It’s just started leaking in the offices, too. Where’s the building supervisor? Well, there isn’t really one. The university says the building isn’t their responsibility because it’s been annexed by the Highway Department, and the Highway Department says it isn’t their responsibility because it’s holding university courses. Oh, and water just started coming through another ceiling.
We go to see the new building. The building supervisor asks why we haven’t already moved in. Are you trying to make the Director angry? You already missed the first two deadlines he set for you to move in.
We go to our official liaison with the university to ask about the deadline. Deadline? What deadline? The Director hasn’t even offered you anything yet. Aren’t you Americans being a little presumptuous? And why is there mud and water on your suit?
We go to the Director’s office. But we can’t meet the Director without a letter of invitation. How do we get a letter of invitation? We need to see the Counselor for the Director. We go to the Counselor for the Director’s office, but the Assistant for the Counselor for the Director tells us that we can’t meet the Counselor for the Director without a letter asking for an appointment. We need to submit this letter, in three languages, to the Secretary for the Assistant for the Counselor for the Director. The Secretary for the Assistant for the Counselor for the Director won’t be in the office until Sunday. Sunday? Yes, Sunday is a workday this week. Didn’t you hear? This Friday just became a national holiday; everyone needs to work on Sunday. But be sure to get the document in on Sunday because the Director really wants you to move in quickly.
Or take the adoption process. Your paperwork is done, but the local orphanage says there’s just been a ban imposed on all international adoptions. You go to the National Office, to meet with an undersecretary who refers you to an over-secretary, who says that there is no ban on adoptions from the Director’s office, and the Director would never approve such a ban, but no paperwork can be processed for an indefinite period of time because of situations related to someone or something that only the Director could personally over-rule, and, no, the Director can never be reached directly by foreigners.
Why is it that you can’t see God without entering the thick cloud?
I look up from the grammar book when I hear the bathroom door open. She comes out, but doesn’t say anything.
“Well?”
“They’re asleep. They look so beautiful when they sleep.”
“Ella does. Caleb always looks like a boxer who’s taken one too many.”
“You want another one?” She holds up a small stick. “Eight months from now.”
That’s a normal enough thing to say.
